Grace

What does change mean
in the face of a constantly changing landscape
The primordial ooze seeping forward
towards a future that already exists
waiting for the inevitability of existence
but knowing that they are stuck
wanting to move forward
but always being ahead
waiting for the present
to find its way
For all were lost before they were found

draft 2:
Today something changed
but it didn't matter
The world's inhabitants seeped forward
but I was already there
I've been waiting for them to catch up
because I can only go so far by myself
I need the masses
to tame the darkness ahead
I can only hope to continue to guide them forward
onto the path of of justice
For all were lost before they were found


draft 1:
Today something changed
but it didn't matter
The world's inhabitants seeped forward
giving way to change
but I was already there
I've been waiting for them to catch up
because I can only go so far by myself
I need the masses
to tame the darkness ahead
I can only hope to continue to guide them forward
onto the path of equality, of justice
For all was lost before they were found

profanity

SHOW ME YOUR THEODOLITE

I see too deep

All I see is dark Chasms reflecting darkness Can't be sure what's there

lksdf

The top, lefthand corner
of a sad, four-sided creature
Bent at odds with the creases
from a dark double-feature
Instructions hide their steps
as the dotted lines dance
Find a single dot sloughed
off the white picket fence

hmm

In darkness we find the sharp cuts
Drawn into our eyes by light

For shame

For shame I hide my scars
I trade my thoughts and cover my tracks
I fade through the world
A dark shadow bringing mistreants
Bad coagulated blood
Drain me
I wait for it

hold this please

It sucks to wait for things that will never come
To hold on to the idea of possibility

The stupid thing we call hope
corrodes away at me
like a lump of dry ice in my hands
The pain feels good
Lulling me into a sense of martyrdom
but I wake up
and can only see an idiot
who won't put on gloves
because he's doesn't want to let the others see
that he's got something to hold on to it hurts to hold on

A canvas for your whole

A room without light hides

Ideas

Holds comfort



A gate to anything you can dream


A canvas for your whole

Re-memormy

     My first love was an interesting experience. For my first romantic experience, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I had lots of ideas, a few expectations. At this point, I was assuming love meant relationship. It's really not. Though through this first relationship I started to learn the meaning of love.  I started developing my capacity to love. My first love didn't quite love me back. They were always so nice to me, I got to feel special around them. I'd always want to be around them, to make them feel good like me. It wasn't meant to be though. We were in different places emotionally. They weren't attracted to me. Eventually they got into a romantic relationship with another person and we grew apart.
But coincidence.
     We reconnected a few years later. We had a chance to reshape our relationship. We spent a lot of time together, through convenience and circumstance. They were as kind I remembered them, as dorky and amazing. I fell in love all over again. I think I was able to bring some light into their life too. We grew as close as we've ever been before. I was able to say things I've never said before, my feelings, cleaned and laid out. They were able to say things too, things I had to take in, to bear. In the end, it wasn't what I imagined, or what I wanted, but it is what it is. We have a relationship, one I know I can count on till the end of our days. And love. We can say we love each other. Freely and without expectation. Because that's what love is.

Affection, adoration, elated feelings brought without expectations.
Pure. Love.
Idealist flattery, bourne of life.
Unavoidable.
Perfection.
Thoughts of nothing but.
Pain, pleasure.
Waiting for somebody, somebody.
Brought home by disillusionment.
Found lies.
Truth.
Aggravation, temperance.
Being.
One.
All.
Love. Love. Love.

Blank blank

Find the broken mould to bear the burden
Shed tears to collect and trade for tithes
Words falter as you give them meaning
Giving judgement for those who refuse to die

Shards of moments long refurbished
Peek towards the half-open eye
Trust is not a word to put a price on
Yet we all trust in some kind of paradise

Give me another cramped moment
Shoved up the hours I've slept away
Seconds away from neevana
Past once before a blank day